Well I found me a match on an internet site

We made a date for the following night

I had big plans in the back of my brain

But when I picked her up she made it quite plain 

Chorus

She said

"Not gonna catch any virus you see

Keep your lips to yourself

 Get your hand off my knee"

We went out to the "Chicken King Club"

Where she whipped out some Clorox and a pair of scrubs

I got so nervous I just had to ask

"Is my breath so bad you gotta wear that mask?"

Chorus

I needed a drink so we ordered a round

When the waiter dropped them off well she went to town

She pulled a microscope right out of her purse

After a look she called a Hazmat alert

Chorus  

My amorous intentions were held in check

By a swift uppercut and a chop to the neck

Now I'm the one who's in the ER

I was just trying to help that woman out of my car

Chorus

She said

"Not gonna catch any virus 

Here's a lesson

Keep your lips to yourself

And your hands off my person

She said 

A want to be Casanova meets his match and more.