OLDEST ROADIES ON THE EARTH

It's Friday night, the gear's all stacked, I'm ready for my gig
But where are Jack and Chokoes, and where's the roadies' rig
It's coming on for 6 o'clock, they promised they'd arrive
As soon as they had got off work, they'd be there right on 5

It's looking grim it seems no doubt I'm going to get there late
There's still "set up" and "sound check", before I start at 8
It's 7 now, they’re still not here, I'm standing on my own
Jack's no doubt doing 20k, in a 50 zone

I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I pay them with a beer or two
It's all they're bloody worth
But I've got the oldest roadies on the earth

At last they're coming down the hill at speed just like a snail
Imagine what would happen if these blokes delivered mail
There's clearly been an argument, Jack's got a look to kill
But I won't say a single word, they might send me a bill

I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I pay them with a beer or two
It's all they're bloody worth
But I've got the oldest roadies on the earth

Maybe I should buy a bigger car
Perhaps a small PA might suit
Anything would clearly be better
Than two old beer-guts stuck in the front of a ute

When finally we reach the gig the roadies smell the beer
They head themselves off to the bar and leave me with the gear
But with Ringer, Moth and Zulu, I get help from other boys
Except for Groom who shouts to me: "Turn down that bloody noise"

I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I pay them with a beer or two
It's all they're bloody worth
But I've got the oldest roadies on the earth

I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I've got the oldest roadies in the universe
You look at them from side on
You'd swear they're giving birth
But I've got the oldest roadies on the earth

I've got the oldest roadies on the earth
I've got the oldest roadies in the universe
I know if they were groupies
Things would be a whole lot worse
But I've got the oldest roadies on the earth


Copyright Brian Ralston

This is my tribute to Jack "Attack" Ryan and Alan "Chokoes" Musgrave who helped me with my gear for a number of years. The song was entered in 702 ABC's "Exhumed" contest - a contest to find "the best bands you've never heard". The song made the Sydney Final and I had to put a band together to play at the final. I chose wisely because we won. There is an acoustic version already on this site, but this is a studio version performed by the band that played on the Exhumed final night.