And I Would Love you

 I say I love you, you tell me I don’t know you

But I know I love the you I know

And I would love you even if you told me

That you spent half of every month in raging PMS

Or that you had committed acts that even Satan would not confess

And I would love you even if you told me

That all your credit cards were absolutely maxed

Or that photos of your naked butt to Congress you had faxed.

But if you are a serial killer or a Republican,

I’ll be headed on out the door

Cause there’s just some things a man can’t stand

And I would love you even if you told me

That you helped Bernie Madoff run his Ponzi scam

Or that you were in the Federal Witness Protection program

And I would love you even if told me

That you only wished to have sex with your favorite electric toy

Or even if you told me that you used to be a boy

But if you are a serial killer or a Republican,

I’ll be headed on out the door

Cause there’s just some things a man can’t stand

Oh, yes, if you are a serial killer or a Republican,

I’ll be headed on out the door

Cause there’s some things, yes there’s just some things, a man can’t stand

This song was inspired by  a response to a "premature proclamation."  I said "I love you" and she said "you can't, you don't know me."  That inspired me to start making a list of things that I might possibly learn about her that would change my mind and from that exercise, this song emerged.  She was wrong.  I still loved her after getting to know her well, but sometimes love just isn't enough.

My songwriter friends insist that this song is comedy, however I wrote it as a sincere love song.  I suppose their perception comes from the fact that comedy is based on incongruity and they find it totally incongruous to imagine that any man could love a woman this much.