Category: I'm An Idiot

<p><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">Ok, so here's what happened - by Sam Houston</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">Well, if you don't know, the damn doctors diagnosed me as having MS (multiple sclerosis), or so they say. But me being the rebel's rebel don't give a damn what they say and MS can kiss my country ass. I'm going to do what I've always done (which is usually hurt myself being an idiot). But yesterday, this wasn't the case....really....it wasn't. So I was riding my 4-wheeler in the woods. I decided to stop and check out the scenery since I hadn't been out in the woods in a while because of all the violent killer storms we always get in spring here in Oklahoma....plus I'm such a gentle and sensitive son of a bitch..... So I went to one particular area of my land that is....let's just say....not for the faint of heart or if you're afraid of heights. It's on a cliff overlooking a creek. It's an awesome view. There's a rock that hangs out over it that I usually sit on and hang my legs over and survey the grand spectacle of nature around me (yes I thought that up myself). So I parked the 4-wheeler, dismounted, and proceeded toward the rock. Before I go further and for those who don't know, MS can cause instability, jacked up equilibrium, and leg weakness. So, as I stepped toward and onto the rock, my equilibrium went ape-shit and of course my legs gave way. And naturally I fell head first. Fortunately I didn't fall off the main vertical drop-off of the cliff or I would be dead now and it would be very weird that I would be typing this. I fell to the side, which was more of a gauntlet of steep cliff plus rocks plus boulders plus fallen trees plus young sapling trees plus brush plus my ass getting beat to a pulp on the way down. So, I fell head first but only went down about 15 or 20 feet. But, on the way, I managed to skid on my face and left shoulder and ass. But fortunately a nice oak tree broke my decent into the remainder of the abyss. I hit the tree however, right at about my hips. So it sort of bent me into a nice horseshoe shape, but a sideways horseshoe. I think my legs may have kicked myself in the ass (not really....probably....no....not really....maybe). So, now I'm bent in half around this tree on the edge of oblivion. Once I laid there a while and realized I wasn't dead, I now had to get myself to my feet and get back up to the top somehow. I'm not sure how I did it because I think I was about half conscious. But I did it at any rate. I sat for a while to try to regain my senses and ponder life in general. My senses never really returned....but oh well. I climbed back on the 4-wheeler and drove out of the woods and back to the house. I am now fairly jacked up as a good portion of my body is exhibiting a fair amount of very exquisite pain. Also, even now, I have removed several splinters and fragments of wood from my body from various fallen trees that I managed to slam into on the way down before the live tree broke my fall. But hey....I'm ok....probably. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">My wife wants me to go to the doctor to see if I fractured my hip or dislocated it because I have a knot about the size of a grapefruit on it and a nice multi-colored bruise going and my back hurts. I have scuff marks on my head, nose and shoulder and my left eye is swollen and have a partial black eye. Also, my left hand hurts and is swollen so I may have cracked a bone in there too. But, oh well. Pain let's us know we're alive....right? Right.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">Yeah I know&hellip;.I&rsquo;m an idiot.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">The End</span></strong></p><p><a href="http://youtu.be/9XGWsQbyOwM"><strong><span style="color: green; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;">http://youtu.be/9XGWsQbyOwM</span></strong></a></p>