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GOD, GUNS, AND GOVERNMENT

By ErikJurado, 2013-01-11

load up on guns and kill your friends, it's fun to lose and pretend, be over-bored and self-assured, oh no, i know a dirty word... hello, hello, hello, how low...  -Kurt Cobain <h1>GOD, GUNS, AND GOVERNMENT</h1> My daughter and her boyfriend have been posting 2nd amendment issues on Facebook for a few weeks now, and she just asked me if I believe in the 2nd amendment.  I don't participate with the 2nd amendment.  Let me explain:THE FIRST ISSUE I HAVE BEFORE thinking too deeply about the 2nd amendment is that I don’t buy into the whole, “Obama administration is coming for your guns” bull shit that the NRA and other such special interest groups put out there as a preemptive strike, due to the fact that mass shootings were happening at an increasing rate.  I don’t believe that Obama is like Stalin, or Hitler - but I do believe that he is a typical politician who has been bought and sold by the banking industry.  This belief is based on actual actions that have taken place, not preemptive acounts on how things will happen.  These conspiracies are boring and they turn people into rednecks - who, by the way, already hate the fact that Obama won a 2nd term. I am not into the idea of a massive plot, which even includes stories such as: Obama allows mass shootings so citizens will start demanding gun control, and then he will come in, looking like a hero, as he confiscates everyone’s weapons.   THEN, he starts his ultimate goal of genocide on the people.  I am not making this up, people actually believe this.  If you don’t believe, here’s a typical redneck link, I’ll wait for you to check it out - read the comments too, feel his wrath at those who disagree: Gun Control is Genocide - documentary by Mike Adams.; See what I mean?  So, what I am saying is that these people are not people that I would even want to associate with.  They are not right in the head.  Conspiracy theories are one thing, violence is a separate issue. THE SECOND ISSUE I HAVE BEFORE thinking too deeply about the 2nd amendment is that I think violence is boring too.  Another group of individuals that I want nothing to do with.  And when you add the topic of guns to the violence part, It's as moronic as listening to people talking about smashing each others faces in:.  Imagine... “and if subject A walked in and was gonna smash your face in then subject B should be allowed to smash his face in. He should also be allowed to smash it in with any face smasher available, including the new powerful ultimate face smasher 5000 with titanium masher that allows you to mash the face of 42 people in less than a minute, which I need just in case the government has any ideas of taking my face smasher away. This is what the founders of this country wanted and I know they'd approve because I have a 3rd grade understanding about what the founder's struggles actually entailed, I have the god given right to smash someone just for thinking about curbing my use of it. I love the face smasher and it loves me. I love going to face smasher sites and pound my chest along with other supporters of the face smasher. Hopefully they have clever one-liners that rhyme or that make anti-face-smashers look stupid, then I can share them on my Facebook page so others will know my position on face smashing and it will show everyone how dedicated I am to this country and the smashing of faces. You can have my face smasher when you pry my dead cold face off of your face smasher. I hate anti-face smashers. They are stupid. “... does this sound ridiculous to you?  That's how I hear the whole argument about guns.  I don't care how many guns and bullets you need to feel secure living on this planet, your security means shit to me and your fear of being oppressed is a moronic comedy to me. Go ahead and buy whatever weapons and protection you think you need to prove how badass you are, from here it looks like fear and paranoia. Try facing the world like a real man - unarmed and fearless. SO, TO ANSWER MY DAUGHTER’S QUESTION...I am against the 2nd amendment with as much energy as I am for the 2nd amendment.  You have a right to load up on guns right now, go ahead.  I’d prefer thinking about something else - which I will immediately do after I post this... BELIEVE ME!  All I can say to anyone that entertains the idea about owning guns and ammo, I hope you shoot yourself in the face before you shoot up any innocent bystanders, but I have no say in that either.  There are far too many other problems I have to deal with, I don’t have time to investigate every possible “morons gone wild” scenario.  I guess I’ll watch it when it makes the news.  But now, I’m gonna go hunt me down an ice cream cone with my bare hands here in South Los Angeles - if I don't make it back alive, I’ll see you on the other side. CATCH YA LATER!Sincerely,ErikIf I fucked up any spelling, grammar or included any incomplete thoughts - shoot me!   HAHAHA!

Posted in: B A D A S S | 2 comments

Hypocrisy Overlord

By ErikJurado, 2012-02-10

LMAO!!!  CHECK THIS OUT: <a href="http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/02/10/rick-santorum-declares-war-on-heavy-metal/">http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/02/10/rick-santorum-declares-war-on-heavy-metal/</a>  OR NOT, the link states: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama.  For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal.   “If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like BLACK SABBATH, VENOM, WASP and IRON MAIDEN use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,” announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •They are still telling kids that they don't know a thing about music!  Yeah, OUR mind is SO corrupt - when he's the one charging $10,000 for one dinner while so many Americans are having a very difficult time?  It's no wonder people get so frustrated and upset.  I would use a satanic image, and I would have Santorum (or SATonrum - said as SATAN-RUM) as the master of ceremonies.  It's called ART you dumbass!  But, if it doesn’t further the goals of the conservative right, it needs to be abolished - so much for defending the constitution.  By the way - the bands he names are from the 70’s and 80’s!  He must be digging down deep in his desperation bag of tricks to get people to drop their guard and vote for a person who is out to make the very rich even richer in exchange for their vote because of a single issue.  I wish there was a hell, because I guarantee that this hypocrite would be there.  I even imagine them playing some type of Musak for them of these same bands just so he’ll be forced to understand why this music had been created in the first place.  Sorry Dick (that’s a typo - I swear!) but the masses won’t just smile and take what people like you are doing, and we will use images that offend you and say things about you you don’t like - if you don’t like it you can go to hell.  All your friends will be there anyways.

Posted in: B A D A S S | 11 comments

Influences: My Grandfather

By ErikJurado, 2011-12-21

June 1996, my grandparents, my parents, my girlfriend and I spent a weekend in Laughlin.  The guys spent one evening at a pay-per-view boxing event featuring Oscar De La Hoya against Julio Cesar Chavez.  We had a fun time - it was the first time that I can think of as an adult spending time alone with my father and grandfather.  My grandparents wanted to go to bed earlier than the rest of us (YEAH, BABY!) so my grandpa thought we should meet for breakfast at the hotel's all-you-can-eat restaurant before returning home in the morning.  That sounded like a great plan at the time, but when the morning came, I just wanted to sleep.  So my girlfriend, Laura went to meet everyone without me.  When she returned from breakfast she told me that my grandpa was asking about me.  I asked her what she meant – she didn't say anything specific yet she made a point to mention it as though he were very disappointed.  Then she told me that he asked what time I went to bed, asked how many beers I drank the night before, asked if I was feeling alright, and even where and what I would eat before taking that long trip home.  I was really stunned that he wondered so many things about myself - I don't even wonder half of that about myself - AND I'M AS SELF-CENTERED AS A PERSON CAN GET!  According to Laura, that is.  I figured that maybe I should - he didn't have to worry about me, I rarely ate breakfast anyways and I'd be fine.  I dropped it from my mind at that point.    We packed up and went to the lobby.  My grandpa walked up to me and the first thing that he did was inform me that I missed breakfast.  I assured him that I understood and i'd be fine for the next couple of hours, since it would be at least 2 hours before I would have any chance to eat.  I'll never forget the way he looked at me and smiled, "Just let me know when you get hungry,"  he said with assurance.  We then walked to the car, everyone piled in, and I landed next to my grandpa for the long drive home.   My grandpa would smile at me every so often and I knew each time he couldn't wait until I got hungry so he could obviously spring his surprise on me - I wasn't used to seeing my grandpa behave so eager.  Then, about half and hour before we were near anyplace that sold food, my grandpa  asked rather than just smiled.  "You hungry yet there, Pal?"  This time I gave in - I couldn't ruin his opportunity to show me that he was thinking of me, plus the thought of bacon, or perhaps a muffin or danish was beginning to sound like a great idea.…  "Yeah, I am pretty hungry now."  I smile back at him this time, rather than the quizzical replies that he had been receiving from me since our newly developed bond was created.  I then realized I shouldn't be such a cynical person.  The thought of my grandpa worrying and caring about me so much that he even brought a stash of treats so that I wouldn't be hungry - now that's a heart-warming moment.   As I sat there awaiting his presentation, I noticed his smile was even bigger than mine – in fact – it was HUGE!   At that moment, I felt as though I must have won the lottery or something - YEAH, I'M READY FOR YOUR GIFT, LAY IT ON ME. Then came his offering: "We had eggs, and there was bacon- cooked just right - barely any fat on it… same with the sausage… I can still hear it sizzling on the plate.  Mmmmm.... Oh, and all of those muffins,…  orange juice - freshly squeezed…   we were in heaven in there - tell him about the omelette bar Cheryl...  HIS SMILE WAS SO SLY!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!  Everyone was laughing at me - EVEN ME!  I don't recall the rest of the ride home - except maybe a glimse and a smile from each person every once in a while as they thought about the look on my face as I realized I had been set-up. THINKING BACK AT THIS MOMENT... Those smiles he was giving me to help sell the concern, they seemed so genuine - but how could they be???  I was tricked.  Was he some kind of great actor?  When I think back at those smiles now - I know he wasn't acting at all.  Every one of them was a truly genuine smile.  The smiles that pass as innocence and wholesomeness - two traits that I believe he is entitled to claim.  Without these two characteristics, he wouldn't be able to sell such an act of deception.  The other half of ingredients that you'd need is to be a very clever person with patience and true thoughtfulness - that's the only way this could have been pulled off.   That was only one of many memories that he had provided me during his unobtrusive reign as head of the family. My grandpa has been a huge influence in my life.  We never exchanged many words, but I always felt safe around him and he always brought a smile to my face.  Thinking back to that day is a much richer gift than if he did pull out hands full of  bacon, sausage, and muffins... THE END Erik Jurado

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LISTEN AND COMMENT ON TRACKS? WHY?

By ErikJurado, 2011-06-30

When I first started making music in December 2009, I had 4 original songs and 1 cover song that I had worked on during that month (with NO experience or training WHATSOEVER, I might add) and went as far as I could get with them, then thought... NOW WHAT???  EVERY DAY that month I would come straight home after work during the week and spend a few hours each day over the weekends.  Now I was at a point where I had 5 songs and nothing in the idea factory, is there a next step?  Were they good?  Am I done with this experiment?  Should I care if someone thinks it is horrible? Is it okay to think that this was the coolest thing that I have ever done??? Could this be the last question that I ask myself???  All kinds of questions popped into my head, yet I could not answer them myself because my brain hit a dead end after that burst of creative outflow.  After hearing the muddy sound, I figured I would mess with the placement of instruments - I spent about an hour mixing those first 4 songs!!!  I didn't know I'd end up wasting an extra 15 minutes per song doing something that had nothing to do with making music!  How much I've learned since then!  I would sacrifice any one of my guitars if I could live in a world where it only took 15 minutes for me to mix a song now!  Anyways, I was at a point where I was in need of a listener!  I only knew of iTunes and CD's at the time and iTunes was for professionals.  I made a 5 song "EP" and called it "BADASS," because that's how good I felt.  I happened to have a family picture with me on a zebra/donkey - or a “zonkey” - in Tijuana, so I thought that would make the title a little more humbling and I made about 10 CD’s, to give out to the first 10 people who had showed any interest.   I still have about 5 or 6 left.   So, WHO should be the CHOSEN ONE to be granted the privilege to be my first listener?  GOT IT!  Out of all of the people from the past, present and in the future that will ever be on this (or any other) planet, I decided that my girlfriend would be my choice to have access to this top secret endeavor - after all, she did know me before I was a musician - I knew I could trust her.  I played my first song, DROWNING" for her and she talked through the whole song.  Then I started the next song for her and she obviously had other things on her mind because she walked out of the room for something and came back in to resume her historic privilege to be my first listener.  Her talking continued until the songs were finished playing.  Then she got up and said, "Yeah, those were good."  FIRST OF ALL, HOW CAN A PERSON WORSHIP THESE SONGS IF THEY DON’T FOCUS ON THEM?  YOU NEED TO LET EACH SONG ENTER YOUR MIND IN ITS NATURAL, SPIRITUAL WAY - WORSHIPPERS NEED TO HAVE THE “WORSHIP” COME FROM DEEP WITHIN! I have listened to music before, one needs to pay attention to the lyrics, feeling, musicianship, and technical skills - she didn't do ANY of those, so my music couldn't have been assessed reliably.  So, I had to declare the judgement biased.  Who could really blame her???  She loves everything I do and was probably overwhelmed due to the fact that she was now officially going out with a musician - her loyalty was forgiven.  She calls each of my songs by a personalized descriptor, such as, "that one song that is short where you’re yelling something and then you laugh like a maniac."  She would rather say all of those words than just say "OCHO," so, I let her talk the description out since she likes talking about my music.   But now I'm back to where I was - I'm back to finding the first listener.   OF COURSE!!!  MY BEST FRIEND!!!  We know each other’s good and bad sides, and we accept each other for the person we are - he actually has a longer history knowing the real me than my girlfriend, I should have thought of him first!  Oh well, we'll be even now that I'll let him be the first to LISTEN to these.  He will be impressed and proud to have me as his best friend after hearing my tunes.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will probably lead to him telling all of his other friends that they are cool and everything, but his BEST FRIEND trusts him to experience his music before anyone else gets the chance to, and no matter how many miles are between, they shouldn’t assume that they will be moving in to the “lead friend” position any time soon - because it is already taken.  So, since he lives in Washington and I live In California, email was going to have to be the way to present this opportunity to him.  He’ll be getting the “straight dope” - as the kids love to say - straight from his "musician buddy down in L.A."  After I sent an email with the music attachments, I was feeling good.  It’s nice to give special gifts to your friends when they are not expecting them.  He was probably so excited to see that in the midst of all of his spam emails.  A couple of days later I called to find out which track he loved the most.  I was informed that he hadn't had the time yet, so I figured that he wanted to do this “old school” - those kids and their slang, they really crack me up!  He probably didn’t want to just listen to the songs right after complaining about viagra emails, he wanted to be relaxed, with a freshly-rolled "cigarette" and listen to this creation in the dark with some headphones - sorta like when I purchased PINK FLOYD'S "ANIMALS" album and we took turns listening to the songs, with and without headphones, so we could try to find out WHY the album sounded better WITH the headphones (it also sounded better WITH Cocoa Puffs...) you see, guys are on a whole different level when it comes to mixing pleasure with the scientific method!  This time I would wait for his call to me - since it was his Sunday to call with the football odds.  He would have Friday night to listen to the 5 songs, and then he’d probably invite some friends over to listen again with them on Saturday night... I can show a little patience.  Apparently, his company had been working him like a dog that whole week.  His damn boss was being some kind of "well-healed, big wheel" telling MY friend, "keep on digging" down in the pig bin!  I told him not to worry about listening to my song - I didn't want my song "DROWNING" to be his new fate - it was hard enough to hear that he had ended up living in the "PIGS, THREE DIFFERENT ONES" story... I didn't know he would take the songs all the way like this.  Of course, I know it could have been “just a co-incidence” - but, why chance it, he is my best friend.  Come to think of it, I don't think he has listened to many of my songs - he has never even mentioned them.  His boss must be a real pig-headed, jerk! NOW WHO????   FAMILY!   FIRST REPLIES: ALL GENERIC!  "I like your songs."  "Those are good."  "Nice."  "I'm impressed."  THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!!  DO THEY MOVE YOU??  DOES YOUR SKIN HAVE GOOSEBUMPS DURING MY LAUGH IN “OCHO?”  IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK MY SONGS ARE LACKING?  WHY DO THEY SEEM SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED MUSIC?  I NEED SOME KIND OF DIRECTION FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY MUSIC!  NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME!  I DON'T KNOW, SO DO THEY EVEN KNOW???  I decided to Google "music critics" and found a music web site that had a forum that allowed a person to ask for reviews.  BINGO!!!!  The internet comes through again!  What a wonderful tool the internet has become!!!  How Al Gore invented the internet AND had more votes than George W. Bush in the 2000 election and STILL LOST that election will always be a mystery to me. Maybe it has to do with all of the voting fraud that minorities are committing - damn minorities!  They are ruining this country - the commercials with the big waving flags show these people sneaking over the borders to vote!!  Those flag waving commercials have me thinking we should send them all back where they came from!  Voting fraud will be avoided now with our new voting ID’s that states are trying to pass.  Al Gore should have been president for making up the internet - that’s the bottom line!  Now he’s into global warming.  Who knows? Maybe Bush won by magic. Politics is one of those magical subjects where ANYTHING can happen - IN FACT, CORPORATIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SAME RIGHTS AS PEOPLE!!!  Magical, indeed!  I'll let a random individual be the first to listen to my creations.  THE PERFECT WAY TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL A CHANCE - or corporation - my first attempt ever at using a smiley - I never used a smiley cause i always thought those things were too gay!  (due to the happy smile.  I wasn't suggesting they are homosexuals, although the Supreme Court has set a precedence with the ruling allowing corporations their first amendment rights, I guess that would seem to suggest that smileys should be allowed to be considered homosexual if they choose to go down that road... what was I talking about before those smileys chose to live lives of sin, yet have their equality???  OH YEAH, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED, A lottery to see who gets the very first taste of my aural expressions - a very democratic process that shows my support for this country and our beliefs...  SO, LET'S DO THIS - I will submit a post on the music site requesting reviews for my songs - and let the public go at it - DEMOCRATIC-STYLE!   3 songs can be uploaded for free - so I register and upload.  I make my request for review in the forum, now it's just a matter of time.   I take a break, do some chores, get a little work out in, grab a snack, then about 15 minutes later I check for all of the replies and NOTHING!!  Why am I being ignored.  I figured that I was probably being hazed for being the new guy?  GOOD ONE!!!  After 30 minutes - STILL no reviews!  I'm starting to think that the site is some "locals only" site - I'm being shunned.  I am using the most fair and democratic approach and these local yokels want to keep all of the action to themselves.  Maybe one of them will come through - I'll have to work a double shift on my patience today - I can do amazing things in the mind-over-matter department.  By one full hour, STILL NO FANS!!!  THAT'S IT!!!  I've  had enough of this site's mental abuse.  Instead of telling them off though, I decided I'd be the grown up, and since I can't smack them each in their heads to get them moving forward on this case, I think I need to set an example to help prod them along.  Maybe one of them will read my homemade comment and want to get in on some of that ground-level action - PLUS, I don't think getting kicked out of ANOTHER forum for inappropriate language will solve anything and I didn't want to move on after investing so much time already at the site, although the victims have a rough time dealing with their lives after such an assault on their mortal mind... I'll be the bigger man and lead by example, so I gave myself a nice review of what I tried to accomplish.  I waited and still nothing.  About 20 minutes later, I lobbed in my next verbal smoke bomb to get some feedback!  Nothing.  Then the third V.B. (I sometimes like to use abbreviations to save time with these blogs)  STILL NOTHING.  I give up... I'll figure out a new plan after I get a good night's sleep.   Next day there's a HUGE BOOM in the email right after the “SALES ON CANADIAN VIAGRA” email that sounded like a pretty tempting deal!!!!  THERE WAS FINALLY A REVIEW!!!  Smoked out... just liked planned! I was so relieved to finally get to my first comment...  "WE DON'T COMMENT ON OUR OWN TRACKS AT THIS SITE, PLEASE STOP." Okay, the pressure is finally off on getting that first comment!!  WHEW!!! Now I wonder what they thought of my music.   I asked again.  THEN I GOT MY FIRST REAL RESPONSE!!! "This doesn't have the right structure, sound, levels, it sounds bad."  The first thing I thought is that I was experiencing the same exact feeling as if I had jumped into an unfamiliar shower.  I get in thinking it will be the right temperature and find out how shockingly cold the water feels -(thanks for your comments friends and family!)  Then try to make a spontaneous, calculated adjustment to the knobs, which always seems like way too much time fumbling around for the proper knob. I turn the knobs only to scald myself the very next second, feeling the same intense shock, but on the opposite end of the pain spectrum. (Thanks for your review music site locals!) I know no person or thing could logically be blamed - after all, it's my personal thing to deal with.  I still end up thinking  "OUCH, THAT WAS WAY COLD AND  THEN YOU BURNED ME. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUKCERS!!!"   Then, a day or so later, SOMEONE COMES THROUGH!!!  With both the right combination of hard cold truth mixed with warm understanding of what I was attempting to create AND adding some suggestions since he realized I was an obvious beginner, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!!!  My very next upload sounded SO MUCH better and I felt good about what I was doing and comfortable with where I was considering my experience.  I didn't know what I needed at the time, but when I got it everything changed for me.  I know it can't happen every time, but I now TRY to post comments in that same spirit that fixed me for that moment in time.  The more complex and difficult we seem to be behaving or feeling seems to be fixed when it feels like somebody gets your intentions, needs, desires, whatever... MAGIC!!!  It shouldn't be expected - when it happens, it is a privilege.  Thanks to all of you who do this.  It doesn't even matter if I'm not involved - I see it going on and I feel the sense of community.  You complete me.  Okay, that was uncalled for - I admit it.   But I will say that music completes me.  I make it for myself - FIRST!   And if somebody happens to like a song, that’s also a great feeling.   I'm changing my statement about government being a magical place where anything can happen to MUSIC being such a magical place where anything can happen.  That leaves government with no convenient, optimistic explanation - as if it makes no sense at all... hmm, who would have guessed that?

Posted in: B A D A S S | 4 comments

LISTEN AND COMMENT ON SONGS? WHY??? (re-worked version)

By ErikJurado, 2011-09-07

<div>THIS IS A RE-WORKED BLOG FROM July 1, 2011 - I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO EDIT THE FIRST VERSION UNTIL NOW.When I first started making music in December 2009, I had 4 original songs and 1 cover song that I had worked on during that month (with NO experience or training WHATSOEVER, I might add) and went as far as I could get with them, then thought... NOW WHAT???  EVERY DAY that month I would come straight home after work during the week and spend a few hours each day over the weekends.  Now I was at a point where I had 5 songs and nothing in the idea factory, is there a next step?  Were they good?  Am I done with this experiment?  Should I care if someone thinks it is horrible? Is it okay to think that this was the coolest thing that I have ever done??? Could this be the last question that I ask myself???  All kinds of questions popped into my head, yet I could not answer them myself because my brain hit a dead end after that burst of creative outflow.  After hearing the muddy sound, I figured I would mess with the placement of instruments - I spent about an hour mixing those first 4 songs!!!  I didn't know I'd end up wasting an extra 15 minutes per song doing something that had nothing to do with making music!  How much I've learned since then!  I would sacrifice any one of my guitars if I could live in a world where it only took 15 minutes for me to mix a song now!  Anyways, I was at a point where I was in need of a listener!  I only knew of iTunes and CD's at the time and iTunes was for professionals.  I made a 5 song "EP" and called it "BADASS," because that's how good I felt.  I happened to have a family picture with me on a zebra/donkey - or a “zonkey” - in Tijuana, so I thought that would make the title a little more humbling and I made about 10 CD’s, to give out to the first 10 people who had showed any interest.   I still have about 5 or 6 left - in case you were wondering.   So, WHO should be the CHOSEN ONE to be granted the privilege to be my first listener?  GOT IT!  Out of all of the people from the past, present and in the future, that will ever be on this (or any other) planet, I decided that my girlfriend would be my choice to have access to this top secret endeavor - after all, she did know me before I was a musician - I knew I could trust her not to get all caught up in being starstruck.  I played my first song, DROWNING" for her and she talked through the entire song.  Then, I started the next song for her.  The talking continued until the songs were finished playing.  Then she got up and said, "Yeah, those were good."  FIRST OF ALL, HOW CAN A PERSON WORSHIP THESE SONGS IF THEY DON’T DEDICATE THEIR ENTIRE MIND TO THEM?  YOU NEED TO LET EACH SONG ENTER THE BRAIN IN ITS NATURAL, SPIRITUAL WAY - WORSHIPPERS NEED TO HAVE THEIR “WORSHIP” COME FROM DEEP WITHIN - NOT FROM TRUST!  I have worshipped songs before, one needs to pay attention to the lyrics, feeling, musicianship, and technical skills - she didn't do ANY of those, so my music couldn't have been assessed reliably.  I had to declare her judgement “biased.”  Who could really blame her???  She loves everything I do and was probably overwhelmed, due to the fact that she was now officially going out with a musician - in light of these understandable reasons, her loyalty was forgiven.  She is funny too, calling each of my songs by a personalized descriptor, such as, "that one song that is short where you’re yelling something and then you laugh like a maniac."  She would rather say ALL OF THOSE WORDS than just say "OCHO."   I let her talk the description out since she likes talking about my music.   But now I'm back to where I was - I'm back to finding the first listener.   OF COURSE!!!  MY BEST FRIEND!!!  We know each other’s good and bad sides, and we accept each other for the person we are.  He actually has a longer history knowing the real me than my girlfriend, I should have thought of him first!  Oh well, we'll be even now that I'll let him be the first to LISTEN to these.  He will be impressed and proud to have me as his best friend after hearing my tunes.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will probably lead to him telling all of his other friends that they are cool and everything, but his BEST FRIEND IN L.A. trusts him to experience his music before anyone else gets the chance to, and no matter how many miles are between, they shouldn’t assume that they will be moving in to the “lead friend” position any time soon - because it is already taken.  So, since he lives in Washington and I live In California, email was going to have to be the way to present this opportunity to him.  He’ll be getting the “straight dope” - as the kids like to say - straight from his "musician buddy down in L.A."  After I sent an email with the music attachments, I was feeling good.  It’s nice to give special gifts to your friends when they are not expecting them.  He was probably so excited to see that in the midst of all of his spam emails.  A couple of days later I called to find out which track he loved the most.  I was informed that he hadn't had the time yet, so I figured that he wanted to do this “old school” - those kids and their slang, they really crack me up!  He probably didn’t want to “just listen” to the songs - especially RIGHT AFTER complaining about all of those viagra emails he had to sift through.  I was sure that he wanted to be relaxed, with a freshly rolled "cigarette" and listen to my creation in the proper atmosphere - in the dark with some headphones.  Sorta like when I purchased PINK FLOYD'S "ANIMALS" album, and then we took turns listening to the songs, with and without headphones, so we could try to find out WHY the album sounded better WITH the headphones (it also sounded better WHILE EATING a bowl of Cocoa Puffs...) you see, guys are on a whole different level when it comes to mixing pleasure with the scientific method!  This time I would wait for his call to me - since it was his Sunday to call with the football odds.  He would have Friday night to listen to the 5 songs, and then he’d probably invite his second string collection of friends on Saturday night, showing them by example of what it takes to put the BEST in the tag, "BEST friend."  I can show a little patience - SEE! I can be very adaptable - HEY!  There are two more qualities of what a best friend is all about that just popped out unexpectedly! But we can’t start gong down that road cause we’ll be here for too long, and I’m sure you have other things to do eventually, so I “won’t go there.”  That’s one of those phrases that kids say while they hold their index finger up and they wave it back and forth opposing the back and forth movement of their head.  Okay, that one doesn’t really translate through text, so we’ll just move on...  oh yeah, my over-worked buddy... apparently, his company had been working him like a dog that whole week.  His damn boss was being some kind of "well-healed, big wheel" telling MY friend, "keep on digging down in the pig bin!”  I told him not to worry about listening to my song - I didn't want my song "DROWNING" to be some new fate that he feels he should take on - it was hard enough to hear that he had ended up living in the "PIGS, THREE DIFFERENT ONES" story... I didn't know he would take the songs all the way like this.  Of course, I know it could have been “just a co-incidence” - but, why chance it???  After all, he is my best friend.  Come to think of it, I don't think he has had a chance to listen to ANY of my songs yet - he has never even mentioned them.  I guess Pink Floyd knew EXACTLY what they were talking about, cause I am now thinking that my buddy’s boss must be one of those real pig-headed jerks that “non-creative” types need to work for just to make a living! NOW WHO????   FAMILY!!!   WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!  NOT!!!!  Ahhh, another one of those things that the kids are saying these days... They get you going one direction and then pull out the rug, simply by throwing in, “NOT!!!”   I like to be up to date on all of the latest juvie jive!  Anyways, those first family replies: ALL GENERIC!  "I like your songs."  "Those are good."  "Nice."  "I'm impressed."  THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!!  DO THEY MOVE YOU??  DOES YOUR SKIN HAVE GOOSEBUMPS DURING MY LAUGH IN “OCHO?”  IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK MY SONGS ARE LACKING?  WHY DO THEY SEEM SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED MUSIC?  I NEED SOME KIND OF DIRECTION FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY MUSIC, BECAUSE IT IS NOT BEING WORSHIPPED IN THE PROPER MANNER!  NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME!  I DON'T KNOW, SO DO THEY EVEN KNOW???  I decided to “Google” the words "music” AND “worshippers" AND “feedback”  -   and I was presented with a list of links, ONE was a music web site that had a forum that allowed a person to ask for reviews.  BINGO!!!!  The internet comes through again!  What a wonderful tool we have in the internet!!!  How Al Gore was able to invent the internet AND have more votes than George W. Bush in the 2000 election YET STILL LOSE that election will always be a mystery to me. Maybe it has to do with all of the voting fraud that those damn minorities are committing - FREAKIN’ minorities!  That’s one that my niece likes using - the word “freakin”, probably because it sounds like a swear word, but doesn’t actually cross the line.  It is a technically acceptable word that I am hearing more and more lately by kids too.  “My freakin’ teacher got all freakin’ mad cause I freakin’ forgot to do my freakin’ homework!”  WHAT A “FREAKIN’” BICTH!  Those damn kids are getting smarter each and every generation - try busting them for using the term "bicth" and they are always so quick to point out that a bicth is a female dog.  Well, back to those freakin’ minorities... they are ruining this country!   The commercials with the big waving flags show actual video of these people sneaking over the borders to vote.   Those flag waving commercials have me thinking we should send them all back where they came from - wherever the other side of the wall was!  Actually, that does seem like an awful lot of effort just to vote.  Maybe we should jump the wall and vote in their elections, we’ll vote for the Taco Bell dog or something and laugh when they are run by a Chiuahua. Whatever happened to good, old fashioned revenge?"  Ah, the good old days... I guess I must me getting old.  Anyways, Al Gore should have been president for making up the internet - that’s the bottom line - case closed!  But he didn’t feel like fighting - democrats usually shy away from ALL fights.  Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to call them all “pussies” cause I don’t know who I’d be offending - I don’t need for someone to walk up to me some day and punch me in the mouth for calling them a name - especially if I happen to be in a job interview, I don’t know ANYONE who has ever been hired while their nose and mouth were bleeding - NOONE.  But Al Gore didn’t try to make his case to be president, and now he’s all into global warming.  I guess the global warming people paid better or had better benefits.  Who knows?  Maybe Bush won by magic. Politics is one of those magical subjects in which ANYTHING is a possibility - IN FACT, CORPORATIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SAME RIGHTS AS PEOPLE!!!  True Dat!  I’m starting to get sick of those damn kids and their made up words - I’m beginning to think that maybe they don’t know how to speak proper English so they make up this other crap!  But back to the Supreme Court’s ruling saying that corporations have the same rights as people, thus creating many magical possibilities to occur within politics... magical, indeed!  Co-incidentally, I went the same route as I believe our founding fathers would have chosen.  I'll let a random individual be the first to listen to my creations.  THE PERFECT WAY TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL A CHANCE - or corporation! - my first attempt ever at using a smiley - Kids use smilies ALL OF THE TIME!!! I never used a smiley cause i always thought those things were too gay!  (Due to their happy smile.  I wasn't suggesting they are homosexuals - although, the Supreme Court has set a precedence with the ruling allowing corporations their ability to have first amendment rights, so, I guess that would seem to suggest that smilies should be allowed to be considered homosexual if they choose to go down that road... what was I talking about before those freakin’ smilies chose to live lives of sin, yet have their equality???  OH YEAH, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED -  A lottery to see who gets the very first taste of my aural expressions - a very democratic process that shows my support for this country and our beliefs...  SO, LET'S DO THIS - I will submit a post on the music site requesting reviews for my songs - and let the public go at it - DEMOCRATIC-STYLE!   3 songs can be uploaded for free - so I register and upload.  I make my request for review in the forum, now it's just a matter of time.   I take a break, do some chores, get a little work out in, grab a snack, then about 15 minutes later I check for all of the replies and NOTHING!!  Why am I being ignored.  I figured that I was probably being hazed for being the new guy?  GOOD ONE!!!  After 30 minutes - STILL no reviews!  I'm starting to think that the site is some "locals only" site - I'm being shunned.  I am using the most fair and democratic approach and these local yokels want to keep all of the action to themselves.  Maybe one of them will come through - I'll have to work a double shift on my patience today - I can do amazing things in the mind-over-matter department.  By one full hour, STILL NO FANS!!!  THAT'S IT!!!  I've  had enough of this site's mental abuse.  Instead of telling them off though, I decided I'd be the grown up, and since I can't smack them each in their heads to get them moving forward on this case, I think I need to set an example to help prod them along.  Maybe one of them will read my homemade comment and want to get in on some of that ground-level action - PLUS, I don't think getting kicked out of ANOTHER forum for inappropriate language will solve anything and I didn't want to move on after investing so much time already at the site, although the victims have a rough time dealing with their lives after such an assault on their mortal mind... I'll be the bigger man and lead by example, so I gave myself a nice review of what I tried to accomplish.  I waited and still nothing.  About 20 minutes later, I lobbed in my next verbal smoke bomb to get some feedback!  Nothing.  Then the third V.B. (I sometimes like to use abbreviations to save time with these blogs)  STILL NOTHING.  I give up... I'll figure out a new plan after I get a good night's sleep.   Next day there's a HUGE BOOM in the email right after the “SALES ON CANADIAN VIAGRA” email that sounded like a pretty tempting deal!!!!  THERE WAS FINALLY A REVIEW!!!  Smoked out... just liked planned! I was so relieved to finally get to my first comment...  "WE DON'T COMMENT ON OUR OWN TRACKS AT THIS SITE, PLEASE STOP." Okay, the pressure is finally off on getting that first comment!!  WHEW!!! Now I wonder what they thought of my music.   I asked again.  THEN I GOT MY FIRST REAL RESPONSE!!! "This doesn't have the right structure, sound, levels, it sounds bad."  The first thing I thought is that I was experiencing the same exact feeling as if I had jumped into an unfamiliar shower.  I get in thinking it will be the right temperature and find out how shockingly cold the water feels -(thanks for your comments friends and family!)  Then try to make a spontaneous, calculated adjustment to the knobs, which always seems like way too much time fumbling around for the proper knob. I turn the knobs only to scald myself the very next second, feeling the same intense shock, but on the opposite end of the pain spectrum. (Thanks for your review music site locals!) I know no person or thing could logically be blamed - after all, it's my personal thing to deal with.  I still end up thinking  "OUCH, THAT WAS WAY COLD AND  THEN YOU BURNED ME. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUKCERS!!!"   Then, a day or so later, SOMEONE COMES THROUGH!!!  With both the right combination of hard cold truth mixed with warm understanding of what I was attempting to create AND adding some suggestions since he realized I was an obvious beginner, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!!!  My very next upload sounded SO MUCH better and I felt good about what I was doing and comfortable with where I was considering my experience.  I didn't know what I needed at the time, but when I got it everything changed for me.  I know it can't happen every time, but I now TRY to post comments in that same spirit that fixed me for that moment in time.  The more complex and difficult we seem to be behaving or feeling seems to be fixed when it feels like somebody gets your intentions, needs, desires, whatever... MAGIC!!!  It shouldn't be expected - when it happens, it is a privilege.  Thanks to all of you who do this.  It doesn't even matter if I'm not involved - I see it going on and I feel the sense of community.  You complete me.  Okay, that was uncalled for - I admit it.   But I will say that music completes me.  I make it for myself - FIRST!   And if somebody happens to like a song, that’s also a great feeling.   I'm changing my statement about government being a magical place where anything can happen to MUSIC being such a magical place where anything can happen.  That leaves government with no convenient, optimistic explanation - as if it makes no sense at all... hmm, who would have guessed that? ERIK JURADO http://www2.mixposure.com/The_Erik_Jurado_Experience/ </div>

Posted in: B A D A S S | 6 comments

Four Hundred, Sixty Six Dollars and Fifty Cents

By ErikJurado, 2012-01-29

I found a wad of cash on Saturday!  $466.50 to be exact. I was spending the day with my niece's 4 year old son and 3 year old daughter when we decided we would go out and get something for lunch, as well as take care of a couple of errands.  So, first stop was to a liquor store so I could get some cash out of the ATM.  I have been avoiding ATM's lately because I hate allowing banks to be rewarded for me needing access to my money, but considering I had the 2 little ones with me, I decided to go for the convenience and ease of walking in - getting cash - walking out.  We walk in, and the kids immediately begin grabbing cookies - "I WANT THIS!" and candies - "I WANT CANDY!" So I am stuck being the bad guy again - "NO, we are going to go out for lunch, you don't eat cookies and candy right before lunch." Now they begin telling me, "You're mean" which I always reply, "Yes, I am."  So just as quick as the time it takes me to agree with them, one kid picks up some gum ,"How about gum, unko?" while the other runs over and grabs a ring pop, "How about a ring pop?" I begin counting from 5 backwards, and they put the items down immediately and run over to where I am - I have a way with numbers!  So I am pushing buttons as fast as I can while at the same time trying to corral 2 bundles of energy running around grabbing anything wrapped in shiny decorative packaging.  I get out my $40 and grab their hands and we proceed to walk out of the store.  We were inside no longer than 3 minutes, and as we are walking out there is now something on the floor, right in the pathway out the door, so I let go of both kids' hands and reach down to pick up a wallet that must have just fallen out, becauseI noticed two customers in the store on the way in, before I began to focus on the kids.. My first reaction was a strange one.  "I FOUND A WALLET!"  I shouted as I held it high to show everyone in the store.  This store is pretty typical in my neighborhood.  I live in South Los Angeles, so that means this store had a korean cashier behind bullet proof glass and black customers buying lotto, blunts, a 40 oz, and hot dog - the male customers, that is.  WHAT?  Stereotype?  Maybe.  But I would bet anyone $10,000 dollars (That Mitt Romney is such a buttnugget!) that if you went into any liquor store or convenience store in my neighborhood - or any surrounding neighborhoods  - that AT LEAST 2 korean cashiers - AND the first  black guy that goes in will most likely purchase either a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor, a blunt, a lotto ticket, or an item cooked within the store.  That's just how it is - I LIVE HERE AND SEE IT EVERYDAY - THAT'S FINE BY ME. There was a black guy walking out right behind me with his bag of items, and he confidently responds, "That's my girl's wallet, she musta dropped it when she went back to the car, so let me take it to her" and he had his hand out grabbing toward the wallet.  Since I had the wallet, I figured I should do what I would expect someone to do to me - have them take an easy quiz by asking what her name is.  I opened up the wallet and took out the I.D. and asked if his girl was a 6 foot tall dude.  Without hesitation -  the act was dropped immediately - "Nah man, it looks like god is smiling on you - it's your lucky day, he wants you to get yo kids something nice and enjoy."  He had a huge grin and looked genuinely happy for me.  I ignore the guy's statement, since I am only seconds behind finding out who owns it.  When I looked at the ID, I couldn't help but notice a wad of cash.  There were 2 - $100 bills and a bunch of $20's.  Now that I thought about it, I recalled only about a minute earlier, I heard him explaining how he had cashed something there before, he wanted the guy to think back and let him do it again.  I figured he had his ID here and the cashier STILL wouldn't cash his check for him -  I really felt bad for the guy now, so I figured that he must have just left.   So I grab the kids' hands once again and they are both holding Slim Jims - pieces of dried meat product soaked in chemicals - I toss the Slim Jims randomly  on the shelf, re-grab the hands and rush to see if I can catch this 6 foot tall man that seemed to be having a pretty shitty day as far as I could tell.  He wasn't anywhere around.  So I think, that maybe he'll come back to the liquor store and ask the folks there, so maybe I'll leave them with the responsibility.  I then remember buying the boy a toy at this store a year earlier.  When I got home with it, I opened the package and the toy was busted.  It was only about $2, so it wasn't worth going back at that moment.  A couple of days later, I take it back and ask for a trade-in for one that works.  I get looked up and down by the cashier as though I am pulling some scam on him, until he finally says to go ahead and get a new one, and maybe I shouldn't buy toys there any more.  PLUS he was already hassling the guy about cashing his check because he really didn't want to cash it.   I thought to myself as I looked into the bullet proofed cashiers, FUKC THESE GUYS - I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF!  I'll drop it off at his house - make his day!  I'm sure some people are wondering why I'm making such a big deal out of something so easy to deal with, the whole thing is that it would have been easy to deal with if the guy was around, but this was beginning to turn into a mini-task that I was feeling responsible about.  I am not religious, I am not holier than thou or thee or however else someone might want to categorize my desire to get the man back in possession of what is rightfully his - it's just what I would want done for me should the tables be turned.  Unfortunately for this guy, I had 2 hungry kids in the car who were cranky and wanted food right then.  I would never be able to get away with dropping by the address on the I.D. to drop off his wallet - IF he still lived there.  Point well taken.  I'll get some tacos from the taco truck, we'll go home, and while we gobble the tacos I'll google the unfortunate sob and see if there is a phone number, so I can leave a message to let him know where to pick up his wallet - he could drive over to me - why should I go out of my way.  I look him up and notice a facebook page that has a person that lives in the same city that looks exactly the same - only with a different address and with no phone number listed.  WHY DOES THIS GUY HAVE HIS ADDRESS LISTED BUT NO PHONE LISTED OR EMAIL???  WHO THE HELL PUTS DOWN THEIR ADDRESS AND NO PHONE NUMBER???  Now I have 2 addresses for the guy - I decide to investigate this person a little more, because time has a way of allowing opposing arguments to take root inside a person's head.  I start to pry - I look at his facebook wall to see what kind of posts he makes.  ONLY ONE POST.  AND IT WAS DIRTY!  Either that or he can't spell and the girl he posted to should expect him to "arrive" all over her.  But, it could just be that times have changed and girls today like being told dirty things.  Plus, that still doesn't make a difference - what's his is his.  I start clicking his photos to see if I can tell whether he deserves his cash back.  WHAT WAS THAT???  It's HIS wallet - HIS cash, SHUT UP AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!   EVEN IF HE IS A SCUMBAG THAT DOESN'T DESERVE THAT MONEY?   I DO DESERVE IT!!!  I DON'T THINK THIS WAY!!!  Okay, what's going on here?  GOD IS SMILING ON YOU - IT'S YO LUCKY DAY, HE WANTS YOU TO GET YO KIDS SOMETHING NICE AND ENJOY - HEY, I know who that came from, that's from the guy in the store!  But where did those other thought just come from?  I didn't tell anyone about this.  Why am I thinking this way, I'm not the type of person that keeps something that is not mine.  STOP thinking - START clicking! First picture - tattoos all over- no shirt on.  Next pic - picture of tats from a different angle - words that I can't quite see.  Next pict - the same thing different angle.   About 25 picture taken from arms length with no shirt on, WHAT A BUTTNUGGET!!!  Why did I think that?  I'm probably just trying to keep the money for myself.  NO, I think this guy really is a buttnugget.  Well, not an actual nugget on a butt, but a figural one - like Mitt Romney.  Okay, I can't find out anything else about the guy on the internet.  I'll look through the contents of his wallet.  I didn't want to, but now here I am doing it anyways.  FIRST, I pull out the cash and count - one, two, three, four hundred, and twenty, forty, sixty, five, $466 - plus 2 quarters.  Hey some check stubs and receipts.  This guy makes a nice chunk of change - PLUS he's been working a lot of overtime for time and a half - I didn't know companies pay that still - good for him!  HEY, I have one of these - an Electronic Benefit Card from the state.  I have been getting assistance for taking care of my 2 nieces and the little bit of money I get is gone immediately.  There are a couple of receipts in here from the liquor store that state "food stamps - $520, change $480."   He gets a check complete with many hours working time and a half PLUS the state gives him food stamps??? THEN, he cashes in the food stamps at the shady liquor store - THAT'S what he was talking the cashier into doing for him - NOT because he didn't accept the guy's ID, but because it was illegal... that's fraud!  OH, SHUT UP!  Like I've never filled out an unemployment form and claimed that I looked for work each day when there were a few days that I didn't - typical hypocrite trying to keep the money so I can get a bass.  HUH?  Why a bass?  I have a bass.  BUT I DON'T HAVE A GOOD BASS, I NEED A GOOD BASS.  NO I DON'T  "NEED" A BASS! I noticed it was some food stamp scam where he had food stamps and cashed them in NOT FOR FOOD FOR A HUNGRY FAMILY OR ANYTHING, BUT FOR STRAIGHT UP CASH.    I have been unemployed for about a year and a half and was proud to have not even considered keeping the cash, but the more I find out the more I can't help but to let these thoughts begin to take root.  Here I am with hungry kids telling the kids not to talk bad out in public, especially when they go on about their "farks," and this guy is leaving x rated comments on a public site for all to see. No, farks has nothing to do with ratting out farmers (farm + nark) - TRUST ME - when I first heard the term I searched the whole inside and outside of the house for any illegal substances growing - we already had one raid over the past couple of years, I try to be on the level because I would not last one minute snuggling with a man locked in a room... I already explained in an earlier blog that I'm NOT homophobic, so don't even go there!  And, from that earlier blog I expect you know the context and how to apply that last statement.  HOW THE HELL DID I GET OVER HERE????  WHERE WAS I???  Don't go there - homophobia - snuggling with large men (STILL, YUCK!!!) - staying legal - raids - farming - narks - farks - the kids kept talking about their farks in the car and then they started blaming me and laughing that "unko is doing farks."  I WAS NOT FARTING!  That didn't stop the laughter though, so I told them, ALL RIGHT - ZIP IT!!!! and explained to them that some people wouldn't like to hear them talk about farts, and if they can't talk about anything nice then stay zipped.  I didn't hear from them until I started looking for the dude.   The kids passed out for a nap while I packaged the wallet, complete with I.D. card, social security card, receipts, paycheck stub, and EBT card and put it in an envelope with postage and no return address.  So, YES, I mailed the wallet back to him with most of the contents in tact.  So you noticed that, huh?  Well, if you read this far then you are obviously wiser than most.  You really are the reason that I type these up.  I like a person that is well... huh?  Quit wasting your time and explain what happened to the rest of the contents?  SEE!  I consider myself pretty smart  - in a street-wise sort of way - and think I can trick you but  you call me right out - OKAY!!!  OKAY!!! I GET IT!!!!  I didn't mail the money.  But, I didn't spend it either.  It is rolled up and sitting on a table in my room.  I have spent the weekend weighing out the pros and cons about what to do about it and I can't even think about touching it until it is settled.  I don't know why I felt I couldn't just blindly mail the cash also - I mailed the rest of the contents feeling just fine about it reaching some old residence or something.  Usually, my blogs are just a way for me to release what's in my head so I can get to sleep, but this time I think I could use a little feedback -  Plus I am very tired right now - so if there are incomplete thoughts, sentences or words I will fix them tomorrow or something.  Anyways, what would you do?• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •CONTINUED... • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •THE LATEST: I got a couple of replies to the first posting of my dilema - thanks guys!  That was cool of you to give your thoughts and advice.  I tried not to think of my financial situation, but really, how much of my time, gas, stamps am I supposed to go through, just to get this back to him.  I KNOW!  THERE’D STILL BE $450 LEFT!!!!  WAIT!  That's not where I was taking this.  Let me tell you what I found out last night.    I fell asleep for a couple of hours and then woke up again because I felt that money hanging over me still.  So, I made up a new email account - since our internet provider allows 10 email accounts.  I always wondered why they allowed so many, but with this new dilema that has come my way, I am beginning to understand why.  I made a new account so I can contact the guy and see if he is the one who lost his wallet with all of that money, and unless he acts like a jerk, I plan to return the cash to him.   I made up a name and went to his Facebook page and sent him a message asking if he lost anything over the weekend.  He has since been online, but ignored my question.  Maybe the guy is new on there and doesn’t know all of the features on Facebook.  But then again, he has over 1,000 friends!  I only have 200 friends, and most of them are family - my dad’s side of the family is mexican, in case you were wondering about how that could be possible - makes sense now, huh?   I know how to message with one fifth the amount of friends, hmmm... I guess I’m a pretty smart person.   I did want to go by his house and knock on the door and see if he would be there, but my girlfriend laid down the rules - I can’t go there, he can’t come over to our house, and when we find out, we send him a money order so he would need an I.D. to cash it in.  That totally messed up what I had planned.  She thinks that he is in a gang because of all the tattos on his chest, and back, and side, and leg, and neck... she thinks he’ll kick my ass or something.  I don’t get her at all.  I am not worried one bit about that, I’m no pushover.  I could do some damage if it came down to a brawl.  Why would there be a brawl when I’m giving a guy his cash that he lost?  She was pretty serious too.  I woke up today and said that I give up.  If he didn’t reply by the end of today, I’m finished thinking about it.  I don’t think I feel guilty any more about having it either, because I really did try to unite the person with their entire contents, but there is something about making sure that it goes to the right person.  If someone else uses the I.D, social security card, or EBT card, there is a chance that can be traced back to the person using it, but cash is different.  I would only be comfortable if I knew it was the right person and I could give it to them and see the smile on the dude’s face.  How could I not want to at least experience that gratitude after all of this?  That was pretty much what I wanted from the beginning - that surprised look and huge grin to make me feel like I made someone’s day.  But that’s been taken away, PLUS, I’m being ignored by Mr. Popularity, and I’m getting tired of this whole thing - how long am I supposed to babysit this money?  It’s 11:48 PM, and still no reply - 12 minutes until this thing is over.  Then I will think about what should be done with the money.  Until then, Thanks for helping me through this!

Posted in: B A D A S S | 10 comments

F U C K : Obscenity must be in the mind of the beholder.

By ErikJurado, 2011-05-12

F U C K : Obscenity must be in the mind of the beholder. I must have been 5 years old when I became aware of the word FUKC. It was displayed in paint over our couch in the living room of our home. I saw the word about a dozen times EVERY DAY. Wake up, go to the kitchen for breakfast, look up – FUKC. After breakfast, go to the bathroom to brush my teeth, look up – FUKC. Get dressed to go outside, walk to the front door, look up - FUKC. Return home, open the front door, hey, look - FUKC. At least a dozen times each day in the years 1970 to 1973 – FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC, FUKC. Each 12 to 15 inch, black, bold, serif letter was capitalized. The letters popped out of a bright, heavy-textured reddish/orange background. The generic representation shown in the jpeg (if I remember to include it) doesn’t have the same intensity as the actual painting that demanded attention. How can a five year old resist becoming attached to this word.I was unsure of the meaning the entire time we lived in that house. Although, I figured out different applications of its use. I remember some of the parties my parents had back then. Bands in the living room, the smell of pot, drinks, a jumbo bag of popcorn, and the FUKC painting. Coincidently, about every adult used the word FUKC.  I knew exactly what they were saying and what they were talking about... they were saying FUKC that’s the word on our painting. They must be enjoying our company, home, living room, PAINTING.  Yes, we are very proud of it. Furthermore, I could bet anybody in that room any amount of money that I knew how to spell it – I was very confident that I was socially on their level, I liked the FUKCin' popcorn like the adults, Jimi Hendrix was FUKCing amazing to me also, I didn’t smoke – but I did enjoy the smell, oh yeah - we are all aware of the word FUKC -and I even knew how to spell it by heart. It is spelled F-U-C-K in case you didn’t know. I always strived to be like those hippies that produced me.  I tried as hard as I could to stay awake all night with the adults.  I was a lightweight and somehow always fell asleep sometime before the end of the night.  I'd always be disappointed in myself.  That has actually carried over into adulthood for me - but that's a story for another day. Anyways, I would get up early the next day and look through the records littered throughout the living room. Whenever I got to the album with the naked ladies, Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix - (naked ladies is just as "adult" as FUKC, right?), I would stack both albums on the record player and lay between the speakers eating leftover popcorn and fall back to sleep. I felt I could do what adults could do – I was only smaller than them but pretty much just like them - in my mind.   I do remember being unsure about the context I could use the word myself... I didn’t want to say it in the wrong context in front of anyone because that could negate any progress I had accumulated in my confidence in hanging with adults, and I liked where I felt I was at socially. My ignorance of the word led me to pay attention when the word was used so that I could possibly figure out what it meant – and I knew I could do it too, I had learned a lot just by looking and listening.I did have some experience hearing the word. I always thought I was a loud word. "FUKC!" I would hear my parents shout FUKCS to each other...“FUKC YOU!”“FUKC YOU TOO!”Then doors would slam. Front door, bedroom door, car door, Volkswagon Beetle starting up and then screeching away... "FUKC" was definitely a loud word. That’s probably why each of the letters F-U-C-K were each capitalized in the painting. I still wasn’t too sure of the meaning, but I was breaking new ground. I guess anyone could remember the 4 letters used to spell FUKC, but now, I had evidence that proved FUKC was also a very loud word. It was shouted as though it were some kind of ultimate weapon. FUKC is a powerful word. My mom and dad both had the same sense of power as they bombed each other as a final resolution to their disagreement. FUKC is loud. FUKC is powerful. Could I dare use the word to end a disagreement between myself and the kids that play outside?“Can I have your green Hot Wheel?” “You can’t. It’s mine.” “So, I want it. I love green Hot Wheels.” “Go buy your own.”“I want THAT one.” “NO!” “FUKC YOU!!!”It still doesn’t feel right. I may have liked the green Hot Wheel, but it wasn’t mine. I knew better than to be a bully. And what, now I have nobody to play Hot Wheels with. Forget it. (FUKC IT! hahaha) Then, one day my mother was on the phone. Right when she hung up, she rushed over to the painting, took it off of the wall, hid it in the closet of her bedroom, and put one of our other paintings in its place... ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• to be continued (upon request from at least one person):“WHY ARE YOU TAKING THE FUKC PAINTING DOWN AND HIDING IT BEHIND THE DOOR?” “WHAT THE FUKC IS GOING ON???” ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I am tired, and will continue the story upon request only...  I don't mind wasting my time, but if I'm going to type it up I need to know that somebody out there is at least reading it.

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DARKER SIDE OF MYSELF

By ErikJurado, 2011-01-21

I was remembering a darker side of myself...  We lived in Pomona, California and I went to an after school program immediately after enrolling in my 3rd different school that fourth grade school year.  For the 3rd time in a year I had to make friends.  Compound that with the end of the school year and there you'll see the desperate situation I found myself in... so I needed to come up with something big to attract the sense of importance and it had to be big.  I started my own gang.  I called it the CHEETAHS and explained to the other kids how we would we practice running every day so we'd be fast.  Here is what made us different... we would be helpful one day - like picking up litter and helping out teachers... then the next day we would go to the fields and cuss, talk about girls, light matches & burn things. My theory was that if anyone told on us doing bad things or if they found out that something "accidentally" caught on fire, we'd be the first ones off the hook since we were seen as "the good kids."So I recruited 3 other kids who thought it sounded fun.There were a couple of heart-pounding moments - like a fire that almost got out of hand - we weren't those "4 dopey kids trying to fill the day being helpful" that the teachers thought we were... CHEETAHS were wild. crazy,  jungle animals that no sane human being could comprehend!  It ended almost as quick as Cheetahs... not sure what that means, but it sounds like it should make sense.  After my dad got a job 30 miles away I had to disband these fierce predators, since I couldn't keep my position as gang leader because I couldn't afford to take care of myself.  Ever since the day we left, I always believed that kids needed to get their ship together!The day we moved to Redondo Beach, California was a day that evil lost a piece of its history.  Life could have been brutal had my dad stayed put.   SINcerely,ERIK

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